Over the years my kids, especially Zayd’n come up with the funniest things. I usually write them on Facebook to share with friends and family. I compiled all of the statuses about Zayd’n into a post to share it here on the blog! Here is a list of funny things that have come out of the mouth of my (now) 7-year-old– Zayd’n Worthey
“I set up a behavior/incentive chart for all of the boys today. I was talking to Zayd’n about his birthday and that I needed to save my $$ to buy him something special.
He goes oh, you can just get me McDonald’s.
I said really? That’s all you want.
He then goes, I’ll be happy with whatever you get me Mom.
I was like, aww that is soo thoughtful of you.
He then goes, do I get a sticker for that?
I fell out laughing!! That little con artist! He always gets me!”
“Me to Zayd’n- Why do you have on pants and a sweatshirt? It’s hot… it’s 100 degrees outside.
Zayd’n: Actually it’s 102 (in a matter of fact voice and walks away..)”
“Conversations at Breakfast- for some reason they like to talk about my Mom being old…
Zayd’n- I thought Gammy was in her 100’s. She’s too old to drive a car, to go to Chuck E Cheese. She’s too old to do anything.
Zion- she needs to sit down, rest, eat healthy so she can live to be old.”
“Oh man- what to do w/ this little kid? I told Zayd’n that he was acting like a brat earlier today because he lost an Uno game. Later he came out and asked his Dad did he want to play Uno again? We looked at him like “yeah right”– He started whining about not losing again and I told him to stop acting like a brat. He looks at me and says I’m not trying to be a “brat” (and puts up his hands to make quotation marks). I couldn’t say anything after that but started laughing. I guess he got me… again!”
“Zaydn: Mom why were you crying?
Me: because I was proud of Uncle Hudson.
Zaydn: well.. It was kinda cute.
Zion: that was just socially awkward!!!! LOL!!!”
“Hey- did you know that if you want to have muscles- all you have to do is drink warm water?? Yup-according to Zayd’n!”
“Zayd’n tried to punk my Mom.. she didn’t fall for it. Then he said, yeah.. you’re too old for April Fool tricks! lol”
“Ziah and Zayd’n were arguing over a toy.
Ziah: Zayd’n you’re a pest.
Zaydn well I don’t care. I don’t like you.
Ziah well I don’t like you.
Zaydn: that’s why I don’t like your grandchildren!!
“Zayd’n: Mom, what’s wrong with me?
Me: What do you mean?
Zayd’n: My life… what’s wrong with my personal life?
Me: uh, what do you think is wrong with your personal life?
Zayd’n: It’s just too much… to magically, to interesting, to weird, sigh…..
Me: (dumbfounded LOL)”
“Ziah was fussing about life not being fair… Zayd’n comes in cool and casual and says: Sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes you’re the bug. That’s life!
“Me: Zayd’n, you need to clean your room before you leave.
Zayd’n: Aw man, I wish State Farm was here!
Me: uh sorry buddy, that’s only on TV!”
“Zaydn: (w/such assurance) Mom, I know why you’re sick. Me: Why?
Zaydn: Because you’re pregnant.
Me: uh, no.
Zaydn: well, why not. I want a baby sister!
Me: sorry kid!”
“Me: Zayd’n every day you bring back half of the stuff in your lunch box. Why are you not eating your lunch?
Zayd’n: Because I’m too busy talking to my friends.
Well!! Excuse me.. didn’t know you had such a social life! smh!”
(from Zayd’n to his girlfriend Sasha):”dear basasha- I love you so much. this is me zaydn. will you come babysit me today? And if you have work, uh then stop by tomorrow. I love you my angel. Thee end. ”
“Ziah- Dear Jesus: Please help Zayd’n stop being such a pest. Amen.”
“So Ziah has been praying for Shirley Pitts- my mom. He’s afraid that she is getting old and that she is going to die. So he’s been praying that she doesn’t die. Here’s the funny part- Zayd’n said, Gammy is old but she’s brave. She’s not gonna die… some old people are just like that! LOL”
“Me: Zayd’n did you get your PJs on yet?
Zayd’n: no, don’t hate the player, hate the game.
Me: #confused, what game? Is there a game to get your pjs on?
“Me: Ziah make sure you say your prayers. Ziah: But I don’t have anything to pray about. Zion: Man, there’s always something to pray about!”
Zion’s prayer tonight: Dear Jesus, I can’t wait to see you and to see what heaven is like….”
“I told Zaydn the story about how it took forever for him to make his arrival (he was a week late). His Dad asked him what he was doing in there and he said..oh just relaxing!
“I asked Zaydn if he was scared to get on stage…his answer: I was born ready Gramps! lol”
“Sometimes, just sometimes, having a kid w/ Autism can bring out the funniest moments of awareness. For an example, we were driving this evening and I mentioned to the twins about living in Jackson at one time in their life. Ziah exclaims: “WHAT We don’t live in Jackson anymore? I did not know that!” Where has he been the last few years…we all got a good laugh out of it! Sometimes, you have to find the humor in it!”
“Ziah: Dear Jesus- help Mommy have a baby sister, I want Dad to be surprised. Amen.”
“Zayd’n: Mom, what does it take to be a rock star? ’cause I’m going to be one. I’m going to be rich and famous like Michael Jackson and Justin Beiber. Mom, will you come to my concert? Somehow, I believe this little kid might just make it there!”
“Dear Jesus: Thank you for making my dream come true. Today was the best day ever! Amen. Oh, and I love you (from Ziah- referring to his Little Big Planet Game 2 video game) ;)”
Dear Jesus I hope I get all the things for Xmas. I hope you have a rockin’ Xmas too. I love you, Jesus. Happy Birthday- you’re the best! And thank you for my family- they are the best present! Amen- Z1, Z2, and Z3
“”I wanna go to the store that has a circle and a dot” – Zaydn.”
Zion asked: Does Santa Claus have a facebook page?”
“Zaydn asked me after he’s 5, can he be 18?”
“so we’re at the bank and Zaydn is talking/showing this old lady his video game. Then he started flipping through her magazine and Zion told him to stop. He turned and told him to hush, I’m trying to teach this old lady how to read! LOL thankfully she had a sense of humor and laughed as well!” Oct 30 2011
I’m cracking up as Zaydn tells the babysitter about his girlfriend. he says- I’m impressed. she says what, impressed by what! My girlfriend- she made me fall in love w/ her. Babysitter-what…what do you know about love? Zaydn-everything!”
Zayd’n was doing something bad as usual….. I told him to stop, then asked him how many times do I have to tell you that? His response- a lot of times!”
“Newest line from “the Zayd’n” after finding yet another excuse to get out of the bed- I can’t speak or talk– my batteries are running out!!”
Thank you for making me awesome.
I am in love with myself.
Be cool- Zayd’n!
“Zayd’n said something smart. Me: You better watch your mouth before you get popped in it. Zayd’n: You can’t pop me, I’m not a balloon!
**this statement was from 2011- D (hubby) was in a car accident a while back, but he is going to be just fine. However, when Zayd’n heard the news that his Dad’s car crashed(“broke” to him)… he asked, “well are you going to spank him?” that boy doesn’t miss a beat!”